My life in Hospital: How I decided to have my head shaved

Even though I do not remember the exact date, after two weeks of having chemo I noticed that I was losing my hair, I found strains of hair on my pillow every morning and it wasn't that bad but before it became a nightmare I decided to let go of my hair. One morning I talked to a nurse about shaving my head, and she called Adam. He came in with scissors and a shaving machine, I took the decision by myself, and I told no one of my family or friends, that idea just snapped on my head one morning.

He started to cut my hair, and I remember the scissors couldn't do the job because I had so much, so it took a lot of time. He gave a pixie cut like Mia Farrow’s hair, but as I run my hands through my scalp I could feel the hair falling on my hands… so I decided to have it really short or ‘0’. He kept saying like: “It’s a big change… are you sure? Aren't you going to cry or get depressed?” And I was like: “Don't worry keep going I know where I'm going”. The truth is that I really didn't had an idea of what it felt to have NO HAIR, and personally I felt like being nude and cold all the time.

My Shaved Head

The first days in the shower I usually forgot and several times tried to shampoo my (non existent) hair, and I also tried to touch it, comb it, it was like a phantom limb feeling, that’s how I can put it.

One big thing about not having hair was that I discovered that I had a really good looking scalp! I loved my head. Every night I put cream on my scalp and gave me massages, I enjoyed that part very much. And the cream helped me to loosen the few hairs I still had attached to the skin.

My Shaved Head

And I received one of the very big news in a long time, my little sister was heading to Brisbane to help me (and in the future she became my stem cell donor).

I was very happy on the countdown to see my sister, after two years of being on Australia I was desperate to see her. The day she came into my room was the first day I remember I cried a lot out of happiness and excitement.

My Sister, Rosagabriella and I at the Patients Lounge

A Collage... my first

In the meantime I distracted myself on the crafting group of the Hospital, every Wednesday I was there, sitting on the Patients Lounge waiting to have fun, talk to my fellow neighbors and create something different. I manage to do this beautiful collage on picture. It was done by a beautiful human being a volunteer, I don't remember his name (I will find out and update the post), but he helped us all doing the crafts, he used to carry all (paints, magazines, glue, beads, strings) with him 

and teach us how to create beautiful pieces of art. He used to also handover tea and cookies in the meanwhile. I remember him as an Angel. My crafty Angel.

Morning and Afternoon Tea Menu at the Hospital

On regards of the food and my appetite. I decided to give it a chance to all the food on my weekly Menu, I simply choose to eat different foods every day, and make it as I was taking pills or having medicines in the shape of food. I made a commitment to myself to not lose my appetite and eat all I had on the plate, sometimes it was simply too much and I couldn't clean the plate but I did my best not to lose any weight. As I said on the beginning of the Blog I didn't focus on the side effects of the treatment, and I didn't get almost any nausea or vomiting as a result of the chemotherapy. I remember that when my friends used to visit me they bring me a bag of cookies from a French Patisserie: Le BoinChoix, I used to love them! Yam.

I used to order salads for dinner, always soup if they were available, and I couldn't miss the dessert for anything in the world, every afternoon tea was I little bit naughty with the sweets... I can't stop myself I have a sweet tooth. I enjoyed discovering Australian sweets and desserts, like scones and cream I will always remember that.

On late February commenced the second cycle of chemotherapy, this cycle was stronger and meaner than the previous one, this involved 2 separate lumbar punctures for administration of the intrathecal chemotherapy (the one that goes into the brain), and 4 days of chemotherapy infusing continuously. That's how I got the chemobrain! 

By the end of February I was free to go home with a big bag of medication, a long list of daily visits for more chemotherapy at the RBWH, a double Lumen Hickman's line on my right side of the chest, and a brain that wasn't on its best. I got home to St. Lucia (Brisbane) along with my sister and husband, it took them a great effort to take care of me 24x7 and they did it good, I can't complain, I am so thankful to them.