I went home with the Hickman's line on my chest and my sister was trained by the nurses to clean it every day. After every shower she had to lift the adhesive and clean underneath, it wasn't painful but at the beginning it feels weird.
We had to follow strict times for the medicines and keep checking my temperature in case of a fever as I was neutropenic most of the time. Being neutropenic all the time means no close contact to any human beings or animals, have everything cleaned and disinfected to the maximum as one do not have any defences at all to fight a virus or any disease. So you have to change the bed sheets after 2 days, use towels just once, have all surfaces sterilised and clean methodically, at the end I assure you will be obsessed with cleanliness around you.
I had to go to daily check ups at the hospital and spent almost the whole day receiving treatment, between the blood test, chemotherapy and weekly change of buns of the Hickman's line, the days stroll. Sometimes I needed blood transfusion that meant: stay the whole day until 3 or 4 pm at the hospital. Which was very hard on my sister and husband who came with me every day for treatment and most of the time felt sleep on my side. I was probably on a comfy bed or a lazy chair and my heart fell for them.
Going to hospital every day was at times exhausting, getting out of bed very early, swallow breakfast in order to take a bunch of pills and then drive trough the streets of Brisbane to get in time. My husband had to skip work every single day a few hours just to drive us (my sister and I) to the hospital and the go back to work to finish the shift. Not easy at all. But I won an Easter Raffle and went home with a lot of chokies (chocolates), rabbits and a beautiful basket, I was so happy when I saw my name on the prize that I almost cried.
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| And the Winner is... Barbara Maffei |
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| I was so happy! I totally saw myself winning when I bought the tickets |
I don't remember any downside of having a pump any than having a shower with it. I could sleep comfortably (usually at 6 or 6.30pm I was out...sleeping), watch TV, do my nails. I saw it as something I needed to be alive not as a bad thing, most of like a little companion.
In the afternoons I watched a LOT of movies most of them animations, I really love them so I had time to catch up on old movies and comedies I never saw.
Actually I don't remember all I did quite clearly, my husband says I used to space out a lot and fall sleep all the time. I was just happy to be home with my family, eating home made food, watching funny things and doing my nails using only bright colours.
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| My Sister's and my Nails, perfectly done by her :) |
I kept eating my food as it was a medicine so that wasn't a big issue just another task I had to complete during the day. Although my sweet tooth helped me to keep indulging on Tim Tams and other things like yummy doughnuts.
I started to re-read the book You Can Heal Your Life (Louise Hays) and actually doing the affirmations gave so much strength and happiness. Before that I never realise how many things I had to be happy for or to be grateful of, that was a big eye opener for me at that time.
I kept all my affirmations from that time and read them from time to time and that gives me hope and a lot of happiness.
Experiencing a life threading illness is a tough reality and I found no use to think: Why me? Why us? On the contrary I just keep thinking about what tomorrow held for me and my family. What would I do when everything was over and dusted, like going for walks at the mall or meeting my friends. Always have faith and it doesn't matter which religion o God you adore but to have blind faith on getting better and be really strong to keep it together.
Enjoy the little things. Think of what really makes YOU happy and go and do it. I enjoy watching TV and movies that really makes me happy and it didn't require much energy and gave me really positive ideas and thoughts to concentrate on. Like all those Disney movies hold a message and I kept thinking on them when I was lying in bed or having dinner.
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| Having friends over is often very good for your soul, so you don't feel isolated |
I know I already said in a previous post I didn't see drama movies or depressing documentaries, it might sound like taking it to an extreme but that worked for me, I never felt depressed or really sad during treatment at home. I didn't do the finances at home during difficult times, luckily my husband took care of everything. But I personally find that stressing so I didn't want to do anything with that. I concentrated on the good things happening to me at that precise moment (mainly daily events) and that is my little advise when your future is not that clear, concentrate on NOW, the future doesn't exists yet.
See you on the next post and remember to Love Yourself with All You Heart and Enjoy the Little Things!
