The First Hospitalization and Chemotherapy Started

I was hospitalized on the room 27 of the 5th floor of the Royal Brisbane Women Hospital (RBWH) on the Oncology area, specifically on the 5C Ward. On and individual room that normally was used for patients who had received a (stem cell) transplant, so all my fellow neighbors (patients) asked me about my ‘transplant’ and how was it going. I never understood why they kept asking me these questions about my ongoing ‘transplant’ until a nurse explained to me what was happening.

Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital - My second home for a long time

My Star

I really liked my room, my good friends bought me two beautiful balloons (a star and a smiley) and they kept me company. I had a beautiful view of a big, big tree which was really green and leafy, I wasn't feeling that bad so I never realized that I was ‘that’ sick and why was everyone so worried.

First thing in the morning the doctor ordered a Bone Marrow Aspiration (BMA) to establish the type and details of the disease.

That very same night I had a meeting with Doctor Kirk Morris (MBBS, FRACP, FRCPA Senior Medical Officer, Clinical and Laboratory Haematology from the RBWH) in charge of my case and his registrars, it was a really big bunch of people in my little room. He said after all the blood tests I was diagnosed with  Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia or ALL, that was an acute type of leukaemia and they had to act really fast or it will kill me, later I will be needing a stem cell transplant (from a sibling or a stranger), but at that point the doctor said it was pointless to discuss that matter, all I was thinking was: "All my siblings are in Venezuela – South America, what am I going to do?"

My Smiley

He brought to my room a few consentment pages for me to sign, he said that it was my choice to start the chemotherapy or I would probably die in three (03) days without it. I didn't ever thought about not taking the  chemo or other procedures, and sign immediately all that was given to me.
My doctor is a really sensible person, he always told me the truth from the beginning in a very good way and I felt from day 1 I was in good hands. We spoke about the side effects of the treatment, such as: hair loss (very scary for me), fertility (I lost it completely after all the treatments), amount of possible cycles of chemo, rounds of chemo, appetite loss (which I never suffered really bad), the vomiting, fatigue and having chemo brain (which is being confused and forget things all the time), those are the main side effect I remember. 

The nurses brought more paperwork to be signed: I needed a Hickman's line...ok I signed everything and was carried to radiology to install it. The procedure wasn't painful the first few days I felt it in my sleep but after a week it was part of me.

IV Pump Machine or Wall-e for me

I got hooked to an IV pump machine I used to call wall-e like the robot in the Disney movie, and from now on I will refer to it as wall-e (my perpetual companion). Since I could barely move being attached to wall-e 24 hours a day, I had the love of my beautiful, compassionate, good (and all the adjectives you can imagine) FRIENDS who helped me: bath, change, comb my hair, everything I couldn't do because of my new attachment. I will always be grateful to 
them and they will always have a special place in my heart.


One of my friends (Marilyn G.) took my PJ's everyday and wash them and bring me beautiful clean clothes every morning. She was my angel!

The 9th february the first cycle of chemotherapy started, the aim of treatment is to destroy leukaemic cells and induce a remission. This means that there is no evidence of leukaemic cells in the blood and bone marrow and that normal blood cell production and blood counts are restored. 

After further analysis of the Bone Marrow Test, Dr. Morris explained they had found another characteristic of the Leukaemia, a particular genetic abnormality found in my leukaemic cells, called the Philadelphia (Ph) chromosome, so I was not just Leukaemia ALL but ALL Ph+, so I started a new drug called: Glivec (imatinib mesylate).

All the days happened quickly, or that's what I remember, it is nowadays a mixture of memories and I'm writing all this with the help of another set of eyes (my husband's) because is not clear for me. 

The doctor explained the course of medicines, procedures, duration, side effects (again... I couldn't hear them, I ignored them all the time) I was going to receive and the chemotherapy started right away after he left the room.

I thought it was going to be painful (I was scared) or something like that... it wasn't, maybe a metallic aftertaste in your mouth but nothing more. Because, I personally believe chemotherapy was associated with pain, skinny persons, gray skin, pale faces and no hair (remember Philadelphia? the movie, I know it was about Aids but something like that... scary), so i immediately imagine myself ageing when the nurse injected me with the first cycle. None of that happened.

I was inundated with information, dates, values of blood cells, and a lot of books and booklets about the chemotherapy and Leukaemia and choose NOT to read a thing, nothing, I refused to read secondary effects, or anything related to the disease I preferred to listen to what the doctors had to say that was the best choice and follow their advice. Instead, my husband was reading everything he could and asking all the questions.

At that time, I decided to close all my social media networks, I couldn't deal with the fact of explaining everything infinite times. I even didn't want to talk on the phone and hear people (even my closest family) crying, now that I look back I think I was in denial, I never felt sick, yes, weakened but never gravely ill.

I firmly believe that helped me, I focus on the bright side of the walk, reading, watching TV, talking and enjoying my friends, making new friends on the patient lounge. I really convinced myself those were vacations, because I was in a perfectly clean and beautiful place, I had a room for myself (which is a very rare case in a public hospital), I was alive, I could: walk, talk, smile. And started to live being grateful of every little details I noticed around me, like the 'good morning' of the first nurse I talked in the morning until the 'good night' I received from the lady in charge of delivering the food (to my room, yes! I had room service with a Menu... by the way). So, I felt very grateful to be treated in a good health system, with beautiful doctors, lovely nurses and I even found a really good friend who spoke spanish like me: Maria (she was the cleaner of the ward). And I focused on not letting anything to take away that happiness I found around me.

I think my hubby, friends and family thought I was becoming crazy in a hospital, receiving chemotherapy, suffering a life threatening ill, and being happy (not all the time) but most of the times.

I used to talk to myself when I was becoming sad and felt like crying and used to say what my mom (Ingrid G.) says: "Tears don't solve anything" and that helped me to keep going.

I was going to the patients lounge every moment I could, I was feeling energetic and fine, I joked my friends who visited me every day and also took turns not to leave alone at anytime, God I am so blessed to found them here on the other side of the world. And not having any more family than my husband that was a big relief not feeling alone.

After a few weeks I started to notice that I was the only patient on the floor who had long (I mean really long hair). My fellow neighbors had really short o no hair at all. That made feel so guilty and ashamed, I really don't understand why… but that’s how I felt at the moment. It was so hard to wash my hair at the hospital, I was hooked to wall-e, and I didn't have any conditioner (just a liquid soap to wash yourself completely), combs or scrunchies, for me at that moment that was a BIG thing… my beautiful long HAIR. I was so superfluous at that time.

I started to colouring children's books when I was alone in the room to keep me distracted or to focus on something colorful, beautiful and different that the hospital environment and that helped me to construct a routine. I felt so happy when I finished every draw, I remember all the nurses used to joke with me about it, and that was good too... I had another reason to laugh and make them laugh. That was my personal happy time. I also use to carry them with me to the patients lounge and draw while watching tv or sipping a cup of tea, enjoying my 'vacation'.

All the personnel at the hospital (the nurses, doctors, registrars, cleaners and general staff) were so kind to me and also my friends, I could never complain about anything.